『老外说性』真的假的？前女友怀了我的孩子（双语）

『老外说性』真的假的？前女友怀了我的孩子（双语）主笔：大头头大日期： 2010/04/29分类：老外说性标签: 老外说性, 老少配         点击：450
        
                 Savage Love Column    April 29, 2010
“野人之爱”性专栏        2010年4月29日


来信：
I was seeing a girl every other week for about four months. We only used condoms for birth control, but we always used them and we were careful. Two months after I ended it, she told me that three weeks previous she found out that she was pregnant and a few days later miscarried. Obviously, I was surprised and also concerned for her. We talked about it a few times over the phone, even though I’m seeing somebody else now.
我和一个女的两周约见一次，前后大概四个月时间。虽然当时我们仅用安全套来避孕，但是我们势必每次用，小心用。我提分手后两个月，她说三周前她发现自己怀孕了，可是过了几天小产了。我相当震惊，也很担心她的状况。虽然现在我已有新女友，但我们还是通了好几通电话讨论这事。
Emotionally, she has not been dealing with the situation very well. She says that she cries whenever she sees babies. I’ve been making an effort to be supportive, but she thinks that I could be doing more. She also told me after we stopped seeing each other that she is in love with me. Which brings us to the issue: She’s been getting therapy since the miscarriage. She thinks I should help pay for her therapy; I’m reluctant, but I want to do what’s right. On the one hand, I did get her pregnant, and the pregnancy/miscarriage was the catalyst for her seeking therapy. On the other hand, it was a casual relationship and she has other personal issues. Obviously, if she were pregnant now, I would pay or at least help pay for an abortion. But she’s not pregnant. She’s unhappy, and I’m not sure what the scope of my responsibility is for that.
她现在不能很好地控制自己的情绪。她说她一看到婴儿就会哭。我尽力帮助她，可是她觉得我做得还不够。她还说分手后才发现她爱上我了。所以就有了这个问题：流产以后她开始接受治疗，她认为我应该为此买单；我虽然很不情愿，但我又觉得这是应该的。一方面，是我害她怀了孕，因为怀了孕又小产她才需要寻求治疗。另外一方面，我们当时并不是正式的交往，她接受治疗也有一些其他的个人因素。情况如果是她没有小产，我当然最少会付人工流产的钱。但是，她现在没有怀孕了。我想问我要为她的不快乐负多少责任？
What Do I Do?
我怎么办？
P.S. I’ve been reading your column for years, and I think it has had a profoundly positive impact on my life: Thank you.
P.S. 我看你的专栏好几年了，我觉得它对我的人生有深远的积极影响。谢谢。
本文的中文为大头头大原创，授权每日小抄网刊登，未经授权请勿中文全文转载（你可以剔除中文后随意转载）。
耽的回信： 
It saddens me when someone with such a colossally defective bullshit detector signs off with “I’ve been reading you for years.”Perhaps you have, WDID, but to seemingly little effect.
每当如此缺乏洞察力的人说“我看你的专栏好几年”我都异常伤感。是啊是啊。你是看了好几年，WDID[1]，但实在看不出它对你有什么影响。
Forgive me for being blunt: How do you know she got pregnant and had a miscarriage? Because she told you so. Did it not occur to you that she might have made this all up in an effort—successful thus far—to retain your attention, if not your affections?
恕我直言：你怎么知道她怀孕和小产的？就因为她这么说。你有没有想过，她因为失去了你的爱就捏造这些来保留你对她的注意力？—现在看来挺有效的。
Don’t pay for her therapy, don’t spend all day on the phone with her, and don’t believe everything you’re told.
别付她的治疗费，别花时间和她煲电话粥，别尽信她的话。
In fairness: There’s a small chance she isn’t lying, WDID; according to Planned Parenthood, if you were using condoms carefully and correctly, there’s a 2 percent chance your ex could have gotten pregnant. Even so, your emotional obligations to her ended when the relationship did, and your financial obligations ended with the miscarriage.
公平的说：有一点点可能她没有骗你，WDID；根据计划生育理论，如果你们正确地小心地使用安全套，她怀孕的机率为2%。即便她说的都是真的，你的情感责任到你们分手为止，你的经济责任到她小产为止。
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[1]WDID是对来信者What Do I Do? (我怎么办)的简称。
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转载自小抄