『老外说性』未成年女儿跟人滚床单，老爸该说啥？（双语）

看原文后面的评论也很有意思

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今天小抄又出了一个新专栏哦。『老外说性』专栏是我们翻译美国知名专栏作家Daniel Savage的播客Savage Love而成的一个性专栏。不定期更新，将带大家听听这位美国火爆性专家的性爱观。
Dan
Daniel Savage,1964年生，美籍爱尔兰人，性专家兼公民自由论者。西雅图非营利性报纸的创始人之一，创于1991年。 Daniel撰写性咨询专栏【Savage Love】走红，北美各大报纸都有刊登。Savage Love直译是“野人之爱”或者说“野蛮的爱”，该专栏名不仅取之于Dan的姓氏，还与1979年在NewYork  Theatre公演的舞台剧同名，该剧本由好莱坞著名演员Sam Sheperd编写。 2006年10月Savage还在网站开通同名播客 ，至今已近4载持续每周二更新。 今天我所翻译的内容就是选自该播客2010年2月16日的第174期。感谢我们不留名的XX为我们听译提供书面稿！
茫茫X栏为什么偏偏选择Dan的呢？身为同志的Dan无论是对异性恋还是同性恋的性爱都可以侃侃而谈，但更主要的是因为他犀利的社会评论..他抨击空谈家、性别歧视者、种族歧视者、宗教迷信以及崇尚暴力者，尤其反对憎恨伪善者。如：基督徒宣传OX很邪恶，但是自己又去招JI；某某领导扮演“顾家好男人”角色却又左拥右抱好几个女友..等等。
回头率高的话以后偶们就挑灯夜战多多听/翻译哈！
Savage Love podcast    Episode 174    010 Feb 16
“野人之爱”播客  第174期    2010年2月16日
(an 8-minute call / response)  8分钟电话问答

在线听 此选段从06：37处开始…
文字版：
问：
Hey, Dan.  I have a young daughter, 17, who s just become sexually active.  I m a frequent listener to yr show.  I m very open with her.  I d love it if you could just give me a spiel that I could play back for her. Because she doesn’t listen to me about this stuff.
嗨，Dan。我女儿今年17岁，处于性蠢动期（sexually active：踏入成人世界。。。即非处了）。我是你节目的忠实听众。我跟女儿无所不谈，但是她在这方面根本不听我的。我希望你可以提供有一些好的建议，我可以放给她听听。
She hears me, she listens to me –she s a very loving child-  but she doesn’t listen to me.  Does that make sense?  It s like: she gives me a nod, a pat on the back,  and I can see in her face that she s just thinkingDad, stop being a retard.  And I think if she hears it from someone else, especially someone who delivers it with the panache that you do, I think that she d really get the picture.  And plus it would make me laugh for her to hear me call in and have you respond and give her advice.
她挺听话，我跟她谈话总乖乖地听着，但是我总觉得她没听进去。明白我的意思吧，就是说她会点头啊，拍拍我的背，那种时候我看她的表情就知道她心说“老爸，别这么白痴好不好！”我想要是她从别人口中听到这些内容的话，尤其是像你这样善于言谈的人，她一定可以听进去。而且我觉得让她听我打电话给你让你给她建议是件很好玩的事。
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答：
You know that face she makes when you talk to her and you try to be serious or give her some advice about sex,  or shape her world view about sex — that face where she is looking at you like you’re retarded ?  She s listening.  She has to make that face.  All children have to make that face. Particularly when their parents talk to them about sex.  It doesnt mean she isn’t listening.  It doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate the effort.  It doesnt mean that the things you say won’t sink in, and that she won’t take Dad’s advice.  She just has to looklike Dad s advice –particularly when it comes to sex- is the last thing she wants.  And she s still going to -at least- give you a hearing,  whatever the face she s making.
你跟女儿谈话、试图认真地跟她谈谈有关性方面的问题或者给予她这方面的建议、或是塑造她对性的世界观时她所做出的表情—就是你所描述的看着你好像把你当白痴一样的表情，表明她有在听你说的话。她肯定会做出那种表情。每个孩子都会故作那种表情，尤其是家长们跟他们谈性的时候。这并不表明她没在认真听你说话，也不表明她不明白你的良苦用心，更不表明你所说的没有渗透到她的思想进而她会如你所想的那样不听取你的建议。总是要装出付“我才不要听老爸的话（特别是性方面的）呢”的样子才行。不管她做出什么表情，至少她还是乖乖地在那听着了。
Now I m not sure which Lecture for young people who have just become sexually active you want — the If you’re having anal sex, you arent a virgin anymore talk,  the You have options beyond vaginal intercourse where you can be fully intimate talk.  And then there s the birth control talk,  and the disease talk.  There s many talks.
我不知道你到底要那种教育啦。到底是那种“性爱入门须知”类的，还是“肛交也算破处”的，还是“做爱不一定要插入”的？抑或是谈谈避孕措施、性病什么的？可谈的很多啦。
But if I had a seventeen-year-old daughter who s just becoming sexually active,  this is what I would tell her:
不过要是我有个17岁刚刚开始跟人滚床单的女儿，我会这么跟她说：
We’re gonno march yr arse down to planned parenthood and make a donation and get you some goddamn effective birth control and we’re gonno sit there and we re gonno listen to the nice counselor lady walk you through your options.
“我跟你妈会把你押到青少年避孕中心，捐款给他们，让你TMD好好学学什么叫避孕。我们会坐在那里，好好听听那里的顾问阿姨给你讲讲性。”
And then I would tell her this (despite the looks playing on her face – I would endure those slings and arrows and glares):
然后我会跟她说下面这番话（她做啥鬼脸我都不在乎，横眉冷对千夫指都不怕还怕自己闺女？）
Sex isn’t just vaginal intercourse.  Vaginal intercourse is for your young daughter perhaps the riskiestkind of sex because it carries a risk of pregnancy — which can really derail your young life.
性爱不等于阴道性交。直接阴道性交对你这种年轻女孩来说是最危险的一种性爱形式，因为有怀孕的风险，而怀孕会完全改变你的人生轨道。
You can be fully intimate.  Don’t regard penetrative sex as the be-all and  end-all – as, you know, I m a sexually active adult now, so I must always get fucked in my twat and have cum running down my legs. You can be sexually active and expressive.  There are degrees of intimacy and gradations of risk.
你当然可以跟人OOXX，但别以为破处了就每次都要做。千万不要有那种“反正我已经破处了，下面总要东西插着，大腿淌满了精液才是正道”的思想。做爱可以很多种，而且每种形式的风险也各有不同。
I want you to enjoy your sex life.  I want you to enjoy your sexual and erotic power.   I want you to enjoy your boyfriend.  But you need to use birth control.  You need to not be a slut.  I m not saying that to her-as-a-girl, in a sexist way — I will say the exact same thing to my son come the day.  You need to not be a slut.  You need to be choosy about your sexual partners because there s not just physical risk when you bring somebody into your bed and into your body, there s emotional risk when you let somebody in like that.
我希望你享受性生活；我希望你感受性的力量；我希望你男朋友能充分满足你，但前提是你要避孕。前提是你不能人尽可夫。我说“人尽可夫”不是因为歧视女孩。有一天我也会对我儿子说同样的话。你不可以“人尽可妇”！性伴侣必须谨慎挑选，因为将一个人带上你的床，进入你的身体是件危险的事情，对你的身心都是。
And so when you’re just getting to know someone sexually, you don’t have to go right from making out and getting acquainted to getting fucked.  There are hand-jobs and oral sex and frottage ..  There s all these things that you can do that are really pleasurable,  that are adult sexual activities,   that allow you to be fully intimate.
因此，当你跟某人发展到“坦诚相待”的时候，可以亲热可以“肉搏”，但没必要马上跳到活塞运动。给他打飞机、吹喇叭、甚至摩擦交都是一种选择。这些都能给你充分的性爱享受，大人也这么玩。
And that reserves full-on penetrative vaginal intercourse for someone you’re serious about,  someone you know something about,  someone you’ve gotten to know sexually already,  someone you trust inside you.
只有你真正在意、深入了解他、熟悉他的性行为，从心底信任他的人，你才可以和他进行完全插入式的性交。
And that should be a higher bar — when you’re going to trust somebody who s inside you.
要信任一个人到让他进入你的身体，这门槛本来就该高吧。
Sex is powerful.  Our erotic inner lives are powerful.  And –as somebody said to Spider-man– with great power comes great responsibility.
性的力量很强大。人类内心深处性欲的力量很强大。就如有人对蜘蛛侠说的：“力量越强大，责任越重大”。
And she has to be responsible to herself.
她必须对自己负责任！
Responsible also to her family.  I do think that your sexual life impacts your family. &#160articularly if you’re young person.  If you’re going to knock somebody up at 17, or get knocked up at 17, your parents are really gonno have to rush in and perhaps turn their lives upside down to help you through that.
对自己负责，同时也是对家人负责。我觉得你的性生活确实关系着你的家庭，尤其是如果你还是个未成年人。如果你17岁就把别人肚子搞大或是17岁就被搞大肚子的话，父母不可能看着不管，可能还会因为要帮你度过这个难关而把自己的生活搞得一团糟。
And so you need to be responsible to your partner, responsible to yourself, responsible to yr family.  Use birth control.
因此你必需对你的性伴侣负责，对你自己负责，对你的家庭负责。一定要避孕！
You need to be choosy and wise about the people you’re sleeping with, you need to go to your parents for advice about the people you’re sleeping with.  I know that that sounds horrible – but you dont have the bullshit detectors at 17 that your mother and your father may have in their 30s and 40s.  You havent been down this road.  You havent been lied to like they have been lied to,  You may not see through the lies as quickly.
选择性伴侣必须慎重且明智。必需征求父母对备选性伴侣的看法及意见。我知道这听起来太恐怖了—但是你才17岁，别异想天开地自以为能跟三四十岁中年的父母PK洞察能力。这是一条你从来没走过的路。父母过的桥比你走的路还多不是假的。他们“身经百骗”而你一张白纸。你可能无法像他们一样一眼看出一个骗子。


I don’t think your parents should have a veto power over the people that you date.  But you need to hear them out.  And look at the people that you date through their eyes.
我并不认为父母对你的交往对象有否决权，但你必须听听他们的意见，试着从他们的角度看看自己身边的人。
But most importantly you need to use birth control and use it effectively and use it wisely and use it correctly,  because at 17, sexually active and a female, pregnancy is the disaster that you wanno avoid.
但最重要的还是你必须采取避孕措施，有效、明智、正确地使用避孕方法！对于正值17岁性青春年华的女性，最应该避免的灾难就是怀孕！
And beyond pregnancy there s also sexually transmitted infections to    worry about.  One of the prices of admission for being a sexually active adult is that there are sexually transmitted infections that you will probably contract — like the human papilloma virus, or HPV, for which there is a vaccine available  (I hope you were vaccinated when it became available, before you were sexually active  if not you re probably going to have to just get it like so many other people,  and then monitor your health and get your check–ups).
除了怀孕之外，还要当心性病感染。作为一个性生活频繁的成人所要付出的代价之一就是有可能感染性病—例如人疣病毒，简称HPV，有疫苗可注射。（我希望你在开始频繁性生活前最好先注射HPV疫苗，要是没有，就有可能跟无数人一样染上这种性病，一辈子都好不了，要复查再复查。）
And even if you’re using an IUD, even if you’re on the [birth control] Pill,  I do think that you should use condoms for the disease protection that they afford.  They’re not going to protect you from everything.  Skin-to-skin contact can transmit certain sexually transmitted infections like Herpes, like Chlamydia.  But they will protect you (offer a great deal of protection) from scary shit like Syphilis, Gonorrhea, HIV –  and lower your risk for other things, like Chlamydia and HPV.
即使你用着节育环，或者定期服用避孕药我还是认为你应该使用避孕套，因为避孕套可以预防疾病传播。避孕套不能包防百病。皮肤接触就可以传播如疱疹、衣原体病毒等。但是避孕套可以保护（很大程度上保护）你不感染梅毒、淋病、艾滋病这些致命的病毒；同时它还可以降低你感染其它病毒的几率，如衣原体病毒及HPV。
These are things to consider,  things to think about.  This is why you need to move wisely into your sexually active years.
有太多事情需要想到，需要深思熟虑。因此抛开童贞，步入成人世界必须小心再小心。
But also you need to know that one of the things you’re doing when you become sexually active is saying I will shoulder these risks.  I will take these risks on.  And sex is worth it.   I m not telling you — I m not trying to be scary and say You shouldn’t have sex. Sex is worth the risk.  Snow-boarding is worth the risk of a broken leg.  Sex is worth the risk of a sexually transmitted infection.
同时你还必须明白一旦你决定开始频繁性生活，你要做的事情之一就是告诉自己：我准备好承担这些风险，我愿意冒险！性，值得你这么做。我不是想吓唬你而对你说“你根本就不该做爱”。性，值得冒险。就好象滑雪值得人冒着断腿的风险去尝试；性也值得感染性病的风险。
But it is a risk. And sexually transmitted infections are insanely common among particularly [US]Americanteenagers because our sexual education is so bad, and our access to health care is so insufficient.  And our country is run –and has been run– by such bat-shit crazy religious lunatics for so long  that all your lives are really on the line and in danger.
但是风险就意味着可能发生。现在青少年感染性病是家常便饭，美国青少年中更是这样。因为我们的性教育实在是太糟糕了，医疗保险又少得可怜。再加上，我们国家这么长时间以来都由一群无耻混蛋的宗教蠢材控制着，直到现在，你们所有人的生命都危在旦夕。
译者注：
USAis controled by Christians who
1.refuse to put sexual education in the schools
2.refuse to provide abortions
3.refuse equal rights for gays
4.think AIDS etc are God’s punishment

那些控制美国的基督教徒们是指那些：
1. 不允许学校进行性教育

2. 不允许医院提供堕胎

3. 拒绝给予同性恋者平等权利

4. 认为AIDS是上帝对人类的惩罚的人


So –
Be choosy about your sex partners.
Use protection.
Use birth control.
Listen to your Dad.
And stop making that fucking face.


因此—
慎重选择你的性伴侣
采取保护措施
采取避孕措施
听你爸爸的话
别再TMD摆那张臭脸了！



转载自小抄